


Never Alone

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - After High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Light Angst, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pining Ben Solo, Poe Dameron And Ben Solo Are Eighteen, Soft Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20610800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Upcoming college students, and how they realized, finally, that they loved each other.





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Virginfic
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe had to go away to college, and it simply wasn’t fair.  
  
It was something that really was only natural. Natural. And it wasn’t like Poe was very far — there wasn’t much between them when they had technology on their side. Technology was remarkable, his mother said. “You don’t know what they’ll invent next,” she said.  
  
Still, there was something in Ben that couldn’t help but think that was the end of the partnership between Ben and Poe. The friendship that they’d had since they were both kids — thanks to their parents being close, of course. Lately, though, Ben was wondering if his feelings towards Poe were entirely ones that involved two close childhood friends.  
  
Ben had always seen Poe as something of a god despite them being the same age. As they’d gotten into middle school and later high school, that feeling of worship had only intensified. Even as Ben sat on his bed, the family cat Artoo snuggling on the bed and purring almost rustily, he couldn’t think about the house next door. The Damerons’ house. Poe would be leaving the state, and it wasn’t like Ben had any control over it. Still, he could only imagine Poe becoming far, far too cool for him. Finding someone — any someone. There were times when Ben wondered if Poe had to beat off his admirers with a stick — and —  
  
But that didn’t matter, did it?  
  
Would Ben still be good enough for him? Was Ben good enough for Poe to love him back?  
  
***  
  
“You’re awfully quiet, kiddo.”  
  
That was what Han Solo said to his son even as Ben picked at his dinner. Artoo, meanwhile, lapped almost contentedly at his water bowl. (The Solos’ oldest daughter, Kaydel, was away at college. Probably didn’t need to worry about anything considering her girlfriend Rose attended the same college)  
  
“Yeah, I know.” Ben sighed. “Can’t believe summer’s almost over.”  
  
“Pretty big change,” Leia said. “Can’t say I blame you.” A beat. “Do you know which college Poe’s going to?”  
  
Ben could swear that he couldn’t finish his spaghetti. “N-no,” he said. “He’s still searching. Trying to make sure the tuition adds up.”  
  
“Understandable,” Han said. “I mean, college ain’t that cheap. Hell, in this economy...”  
  
Ben nodded. College seemed to all but loom over him, like some sort of menacing cliff-face.  
  
Han sighed. “Don’t listen to me,” he said. “Being an adult ain’t that scary. I mean, it does have its challenges, but there’s also a helluvalot of freedom. Plus, you don’t have to eat your vegetables anymore, so that’s a plus.”  
  
Ben snorted with amusement. Leia chuckled.   
  
Han continued. “It’s like a lot of things, and if you ever get too scuffed up, we’re gonna pick you back up and make sure things are okay again.”   
  
Leia spoke. “When I was your age, cliche as that sounds, I was nervous too.”  
  
Han was quiet. Ben understood. Han Solo hadn’t been a kid in a while since his parents had passed away and he’d been shuffled in and out of foster homes. It was one of those things that made him respect his father even more — his parents were pure steel, and anyone making fun of them didn’t know what they were talking about.  
  
***  
  
It was the next day that Ben actually called Poe. Even as Artoo snuggled next to him, purring again, Ben couldn’t help but feel like he was waiting for way too long for Poe to pick up. Finally, he heard Poe’s voice on the other end. “Hey, Ben.”  
  
“Hey.” God, but even Poe’s voice shouldn’t have made Ben’s heart skip a beat like a schoolgirl. “How are things going?”  
  
“Pretty boring. Can’t believe summer’s nearly over.”  
  
“Hey. Don’t think of it that way,” Poe said. “I mean, I say we make the most of our summer while we’ve got it, really.”  
  
“That’s one way to put it.” Ben smiled despite himself. “Let’s watch a shitty movie or something together.”  
  
Poe laughed. God, he just sounded so _sweet _when he laughed. “And make fun of it?”  
  
“Even if it’s a good movie,” Ben said. “I mean, it’s not like we’re in the theater.”  
  
***  
  
The basement was a good place to watch a movie. Artoo joined them, jumping up on Poe’s lap. Even as Poe murmured softly to the now-old cat, petting him, Ben felt a pang of affection. And with it, a certain pang of misery.  
  
If he told Poe...well, what if Poe didn’t feel the same way? Not only would it be a huge embarrassment and a waste of time, but it would splinter his friendship with Poe no doubt permanently. Poe was, most likely, not interested in him.   
  
“So, what are you thinking?” Poe said. “Infinity War? On second thought, we’ll probably end up depressed. Even if Thanos does get his ass handed to him in Endgame.”  
  
Ben nodded. Come to think of it, even their riffing couldn’t make what happened in the movie funny. Even if Thanos did look like a giant talking purple thumb.   
  
“We could watch The Martian,” Ben said. “It’s not like there’s many good recent movies.”  
  
Poe shrugged. “No complaints from me.”  
  
Popping in the DVD was Ben’s job, as Artoo seemed to think that Poe’s lap was his new comfy bed. Ben sat down after inserting the DVD, before turning on the TV and playing the movie. Even watching Matt Damon and the rest of the cast struggle to cope with Matt Damon being stranded on Mars, Poe and Ben (aside from reference to the Alice Cooper song “Might As Well Be On Mars”) didn’t have to make many jokes. Instead, they found that the movie was doing a lot of the humor for them. It was one of many reasons Ben liked Matt Damon in that movie. He had Ben’s taste in humor, and that was something to respect.  
  
It was at one point that Poe’s hand brushed over Ben’s hand, and Ben swore that he actually felt his breathing hitch.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “Are you okay?”  
  
Ben grinned. “Yeah. I mean...” He sighed. “It’s no big deal.”  
  
Poe nodded. Then, “I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or something.”  
  
“No,” Ben said. “Not really.”  
  
Poe smiled. “Good.”  
  
They watched the movie, and Ben almost wished he’d reciprocated.  
  
***  
  
They finished the movie, and Ben turned to Poe. “That was a great movie,” he said.  
  
“Yeah.” Poe sounded a little distant, though. Almost like he was on autopilot. Then, “Ben, about what happened earlier...I’m sorry — ”  
  
“Hey,” Ben said. “It’s fine. Poe...I didn’t mind.”  
  
He didn’t know exactly what led him to say it, other than simply, he wanted Poe to stop worrying. It wasn’t like Poe had particularly crossed a line. Poe looked over at him like he was really taking things in.   
  
“Really?” Poe said. “What do you mean?”  
  
“I should have said it earlier. I was just...scared. But I don’t just want to be your friend. Not even your best friend. I want to be...more than that, at least before we get separated.”  
  
“We won’t get separated,” Poe said. “Never, never.”  
  
Poe got closer. Ben could swear that he could get lost in those kind, expressive brown eyes.   
  
“Can I...kiss you?” Poe said.   
  
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” Ben said.   
  
Of course navigating took some time. What with Ben’s large nose — and it only made it all the more wonderful that Poe, beautiful, caring, loving Poe, would actually want him — and Poe’s height difference, and yet it made it all the more satisfying when they kissed. When Ben felt Poe’s lips, soft against his.   
  
It wasn’t about desire. It was testing the waters. Seeing if they could proceed. And Ben knew that this, at least, was perfect.   
  
***  
  
From there, dating was easy — and so was loving. Ben had already been all but biased in his feelings towards Poe — but it really only got more powerful when they were dating. When they talked, laughed together, went out on dates. When they actually got to hold hands, and Ben didn’t have to hide how much that simple gesture got to him.   
  
He couldn’t get enough of his boyfriend. Couldn’t listen enough — because he didn’t just want Poe’s kisses and fumbling touches, as much as he wanted those things. He wanted all of him. Everything he had to say, everything he was. It made him dread the college separation even more, because the idea of being away too long from Poe felt like a valuable piece of his puzzle was missing.   
  
It was one thing to say that he loved Poe. It was another to feel like even him being there, breathing with a beating heart, was some sort of miracle that Ben didn’t deserve. Words weren’t enough. Driving Poe wild with kisses and caresses wasn’t enough. But Ben could try.  
  
He would make sure everything he did was enough.   
  
***  
  
When they actually did get around to actually doing the deed, Mom and Dad were mercifully away from the house — Ben would have been relieved either way, actually. Just being alone with Poe...it was something that Ben doubted he wanted to waste. After talking, assuring the other that was what they wanted, they got down to business.   
  
Ben couldn’t help but feel self-conscious even as he undressed. He could feel how rapt Poe’s eyes really were on him, all but captivated; he wondered what exactly Poe would think when he fully undressed. He couldn’t help but wonder if Poe would still want him when he was done — but when he did undress, Poe inhaled sharply, clearly amazed.   
  
“You’re...gorgeous,” Poe said. “Every part of you.”  
  
Ben was still for a while. Of all the adjectives that he would use to describe his body — including “unconventional” — he wouldn’t have necessarily chosen “gorgeous”.  
  
Poe, though — once he had undressed, Ben couldn’t help but take him in, almost hungrily. Poe was beautiful. Ben hadn’t thought he would be so beautiful that it was shocking to watch.   
  
"You’re more than gorgeous,” Ben said. “You’re beautiful.” Then, “Where do we start?"  
  
“Who makes the first move?” Poe grinned, and fuck, he looked even more radiant. He was a radiant sun. Ben was just the planet orbiting it. "If you want...”  
  
“Please, dammit, just...anything. I don’t know where to start.” Ben just knew that he wanted Poe to make him scream.   
  
“All right then. Lie down.”  
  
Ben did, and the moment Poe actually mounted him, he could swear that he actually shivered with need. Having such a beautiful, radiant young man — they were both eighteen. “Young men” definitely applied — atop him...  
  
“And I haven’t even fucked your brains out yet,” Poe murmured.   
  
"Then get on with it,” Ben said, trying to sound light even as he couldn’t help but feel his breathing grow heavier just looking at Poe atop him.   
  
Poe’s lips and tongue and fingers were pleasure, even as Poe sucked and nibbled at his neck, moved down towards his nipples and tweaked them, much to Ben’s delight. He whimpered, moaned, trying to suck in his belly as Poe moved towards it only for Poe to gently say, “It’s okay. I like it.”   
  
Poe wasn’t experienced, but he made up for it with his curiosity and care, the look of delight in his eyes when Ben cried out in pleasure.   
  
Ben actually groaned in desperation when something Poe did with his lips was particularly perfect. It sounded visceral. He didn’t think he was capable of making those noises, but fucking hell shit...  
  
“You...like it?” Poe said. He sounded almost bemused.   
  
“I need you. Please. I..." Ben groaned again. “I can’t bear it..."  
  
Poe’s eyes were wide in that moment, almost black, and he nodded. “You want me...in there?”  
  
“Please.”  
  
It took time, of course. Even as Poe’s lube-soaked fingers breached him, Ben actually cried out. They filled him, but they weren’t enough.   
  
“Fuck, Ben,” Poe murmured. “Those noises you make...”  
  
“Sorry,” Ben said.   
  
“No, I must be doing something right if I’m making you do that.” Poe placed a light kiss to his shoulder. “You even _sound _hot. If you start swearing, I may lose it.”  
  
Ben actually did swear when Poe’s finger hit something sensitive (probably the prostate), swearing even as that jolt of pleasure went through him. “Fuck,” he hissed. "Hit that again. I need more of it.”  
  
Poe shivered, pleasantly, before regaining his composure. "You ready for more?”  
  
“YesyesIneedyouinsidemeIneedyou...”  
  
Poe slicked his dick (it was a vulgar word, but it was that or resort to phrases from one of Kaydel’s romance novels, and Ben wouldn’t be caught dead doing that) with the lube before sliding home, and Ben groaned as Poe swore.   
  
“God, you’re tight,” Poe gritted out. “So...hot around me. Fuck...I need to slow down...”  
  
Poe alternated between swearing, murmuring about how Ben felt so good and murmuring some stuff that Ben could only presume he was memorizing from the college textbooks he was reading. It was an old trick, trying to keep himself from coming too soon, and even as Poe began to stroke Ben, Ben lay back, occasionally begging for Poe to go harder, faster, deeper.   
  
Poe actually looked like he was straining to keep his orgasm from coming too soon, even as he applied increasingly delicious friction to Ben’s dick, stroking it in time with each thrust — each thud of his dick against that sensitive spot as Poe got the hang of it. Ben could feel his legs shaking and trembling, and when he came, he shook and trembled and had Poe’s name on his lips. Poe followed, and after a while, he was coursing into Ben’s body with a scream that really did sound like it had been ripped out of him.  
  
They came down from their climaxes, and as Poe withdrew from Ben’s entrance, Ben was too tired, too stupidly happy to really protest.   
  
“Hey.” Poe stroked back locks of hair from Ben’s face, grinned. He was out of breath and sweaty and so, so agonizingly gorgeous, and Ben could have sworn that his best-friend-turned-boyfriend had ruined him effectively for everyone else.   
  
“Hey.” Ben took a deep breath. “Thank you.”  
  
“Well...no problem.” Poe smiled. It was bemused, but not mocking. “It was...awesome. Really.”  
  
“It was.”   
  
***  
  
They showered, dressed, before heading downstairs to have a snack. God willing Ben was starving. Even sharing a bag of chips together, Ben could feel himself starting to get his energy up again.   
  
“You okay?” Poe said.   
  
Ben nodded. “I think you’ve ruined me for other college students.”  
  
Poe laughed. “The feeling’s mutual.” A beat. “I’m not even planning on finding someone else. You’re _mine.” _  
  
"And here I thought you swearing was the best thing I heard all day,” Ben said lightly.   
  
They both laughed. Poe was already terribly, unfairly beautiful, but it was only enhanced by seeing him laugh.   
  
Then Ben said, “Have you been applying for other colleges?”  
  
“Doing my best,” Poe said. “I was thinking...maybe I could apply where you’re going. I mean, I know you’re scared of going it alone.”  
  
Ben could have sworn that, just like that, any worries about being away from Poe disappeared in that moment.   
  
“You would?” he said.   
  
“I promised that where you went, I’d follow.”  
  
Ben swallowed. Already, he could feel tears — but relieved tears — pricking at his eyes.   
  
“Hey.” Poe grinned as he spoke. “If you cry into the potato chips...”  
  
That actually did make Ben laugh. “Wasn’t planning on it.” He grinned. “I love you, Poe.”  
  
“I love you too,” Poe said. “And you’re never going to be alone.”


End file.
